Do you remember the movie “The Way We Were” from 1973? That movie exemplifies the term bittersweet, defined as containing a mixture of sadness and happiness by the Cambridge English Dictionary. The over 50 crowd experiences many bittersweet moments as we form a new life as our children leave the nest, our friends come and go, our relationships end, our parents pass away and we leave our work lives for retirement.
In “The Way We Were”, the political activist Katie, played by Barbara Streisand, and the all -American World War II veteran, Robert Redford, fall in love and marry. They are both attracted to each other in part because they are opposites. They hold opposite political views. The marriage ends, but they still love each other. The famous line at the end, one of the most bittersweet scenes of all time, happens when Katie and Hubbell run into each other after their divorce, and he is with a girl obviously the opposite of Katie, and Katie has remarried and raised their child with another man. She says, “Your girl is lovely, Hubbell”. (so much irony in this line, I leave it to another article to discuss). Then the song “The Way We Were” belts out and the climatic line is “If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me would we, could we?”
This scene is bittersweet because we know they still love each other but they are not together due to circumstances beyond their control. This happened to many families at many times in American history. Not just during the post World War II America, but during the Civil War when families split between the North and the South and during the Vietnam War, when those that fought in the war were shunned by protestors.
People over 50 are defined by bittersweet events. We raise our children to be independent, and we are thrilled when they get that job, find love and become productive citizens. It is, however, bittersweet, when they leave home.
Bittersweet is the moment when you close your business, leave the company, apply for Social Security, sell the family home and watch your children get married. These are all momentous, happy times in our lives, but also tinged with a bit of sadness over the inevitable changes. This time in our lives is not for the faint at heart.
Consequently, we become the eternally optimistic sage who, with life’s experiences, can accept that change is truly the only constant in our lives. We learn to celebrate the bittersweet moments and focus on the positive moments. We have a great time making new memories, that as the song goes, “light the corners of my mind, misty water-colored memories, of the way we were”.